It’s snowing as I type and sticking on the foot print of our little farm in the Pacific Northwest we have been blessed as the rest of the country has so much snow. The snow is beautiful but the snow is deadly for me as the cold makes it so I can not walk without extreme pain and now I understand why the elderly move to Arizona in the winter for sure. Ms. Lily and the donkey boys are snug in their barns eating and seem not to notice the snow at the moment. For those of you who have been following my blog I am now going to let you into my heart, mind and soul a little deeper as blogging is truly therapeutic for myself and others as I believe people need people to connect with. If you have not read my blog before select months and start in June 2010 as the semi truck changed my life last April while riding as a passenger with my GOD mother in Eastern Washington. I am grateful to be alive, have my legs and my brain intact, be able to keep my farm, which includes three dogs, two cats, 1 amazing horse and 2 amazing donkeys. I continue to suffer from tremendous amounts of pain, my husband Scott works full-time and he helps me out with my house choirs and my farm choirs as I am not physically the same person I was. GOD gave me the best man he could make just for me and for him I am grateful and he is my best friend.
Before the semi truck accident I was on target to start my own business as a Donkey, mule and horse trainer and I planned on getting certified in Parelli natural horsemanship I was afraid to write it out for some reason. I guess I was afraid of failing funny thing now is I wish I had taken my opportunity to go to school before the semi truck accident and not been so insecure of myself. I was worried I am too old as I am almost 51 and competing against young kids not sure I could keep up physically. My point of sharing this very emotional thought is if you have something you want to do, go do it now as life is fragile and precious, we never know when our time is up! Waiting too long is not a good plan as we never know what is going to happen and our health is truly a gift from Jesus Christ.
Some people say “Well you say you believe in GOD why did he not stop the semi truck from crashing into your GOD mother’s little truck”? Perhaps GOD is pruning you or punishing you for something. Unreal people could think such a thing as I believe GOD allowed this accident to happen as he knew I would share my testimony with GOD with others and I would share my ability to “Expect Miracles” every day for myself and everyone around me. Think about it GOD knows what he is doing and the bible states every tear is captured in a bottle.
What has changed in my life?
Everything and nothing between me and GOD! Everything as I physically cannot do all the things I did before the accident and nothing has changed between me and GOD I am the same follower of Jesus I was before the accident. I have a hard time admitting to myself that I cannot physically ride my horse or Mammoth donkey right now and I push hard to keep my farm and care for my equine, too hard and end up in extreme pain towards the middle of the day into the night. I have not been able to ride since the end of March 2010. Simple things I never thought about are difficult now such as walking up and down the hill to get the boys (donks) out into the wooded hill paddock, put a blanket on my horse and donkeys when needed. Today I was so excited as I felt pretty good thought I would go try that new Parelli country snaffle out as it came in the mail the other day and I have to pay a proffesional to ride my horse Lily for me this year as I cannot physically ride, tears. Sadly after getting my horse out and warming her up with the games the cold started causing some horrific pain and I pushed thru as I wanted to see what her new Parelli bridle looks like on her absolutely outstanding workmanship just gorgeous. Now I’m in a pickle as the pain in my lower back is out of control and both of my feet are going numb something I have learned the hard way; I can’t take the cold the gigantic screws (rods) they put in my pelvis two of them from pelvis bone to pelvis bone and one in my right pelvis down my leg get cold and I am hurting terrible. Tears as I am frustrated I look out my window and see my equine, my arena dreams I had since a kid and I cannot physically go do any of it especially in the cold. I have to learn to balance and be grateful as I could still be in the wheel chair or worse no legs as that semi could have killed me or worse left me with just numbs for legs or no brain as I had a horrific head injury.
Funny thing is lot’s of people have equine and do not ride but for me it was euphoric, wonderful, energizing, a special treat and a goal I had placed on myself, really a fantasy dream since I was thirteen years old. “My dream was to have my own horse again a young foal and be able to trail ride, escape life and run away with the smell of the trees, rain drops falling on me and my horse and the sound of my mares hooves.”
Reality is we can not run away from life we must face it head on and squeeze the most joy possible every day by paying it forward and helping others with our gift of time. When was the last time you encouraged someone suffering, brought them food after a surgery or just came over and sat down with them hugging them, saying nothing just hugging them? Give it a try it feels really good on both ends. People suffering from a loss, death, car accident, divorce, loss of job and more need people to help them get back up in life and keep trying as life is hard but with Jesus it is much easier as GOD loves to use his human angels to heal his children.
Last Time I was able to ride Lily March 2010
I don’t think I could have had the strength to endure this horrific pain and suffering without GODS promises in the bible, my husband, my friends and my special equine as equine heal the soul. All my animals know something is wrong with me and all of them are much more careful around me now, how interesting. Animals are much cheaper than a licensed health mental counselor for sure. Additionally, my dogs and cats give me great peace and comfort as they live in the house with me.
Things have changed and I over do it as I was born with a AAA personality I have had this personality since a young child. Example would be today I had received my new gorgeous light snaffle bit country bridle from Parelli walked by it for at least 4 days on my australian black saddle built for my horses back. I wanted to see this light bit on her and how she reacted to it seems simple ha? I started Lily out in the Dr. Cook bittless bridle and I rode her out on the trails with this bridle for a good year and 1/2 and then moved to full cheek snaffle I was interested to see how this little bit looked and how she reacted to it in her mouth. This took so much of my energy and caused me a tremendous amount of pain as I must play some Parelli games with her and let her move her feet, roll and buck before introducing new things to her get her head connected to me for safety. I am grateful I have a passion and a reason to push hard to get well and keep my equine and farm. Some days it seems impossible as I hurt so bad the pelvis with the three screws makes my legs feel like they weigh 50 lbs and there is not cure for this pain other than doing nothing other than resting my pelvis in my chair.
Back to pain medication and the lazy boy chair that I love to remove the pain and pressure off my lower back and hate as I can not ride or care for my equine or do anything other than lift and place heat on my screws in my pelvis. This has been a test of faith and endurance and I will keep praying and keep believing that GOD can take this pain away. Thank you for everyone that prays for the pain to be removed and my health to be restored GOD bless you!
I’m learning to adjust to short hair as my hair and eyelashes fell out from all of the trauma from the semi truck, I am grateful to have lost 24 1bs but I would not recommend this way to lose weight. Additionally I forever carry the scars on my back and hip where they cut my chest and back open to save my life I tell all the young people in my life “Who needs tattoos life will give you your own marks” I have some serious scars, all are a testimony to the mercy and miracle of life GOD gave me and my family.
GOD bless you and your family two and four legs!